"But once you wake up."

I had a this dream the other night. It wasn't the first time I've had a dream like this. It's been a while, though. I don't even remember the last time. In the dream, my Tourettes went away temporarily. Some guy gave me this scotch to drink and it made my TS go away. It wasn't quite a lucid dream but it almost was. I was waking up and it was one of those dreams where you're half awake and kind of aware you're dreaming but not totally. I remember reveling in the sensation. It was so incredible to just be. I mean, to be conscious and not have any urge to tic. No compulsion whatsoever. To just be. Once I awoke, I lay there for a while, perhaps unsure if it was real or not. And then the tics came. And the the disappointment. My TS has been especially bad lately. Probably the worst it's been in years. I have been under a great deal of stress for a variety of reasons and I'm sure that's the culprit. But this dream. It was so nice. To just be. To be and not feel bothered or tortured by something I cannot control. It is an ineffable sensation. There was nothing. That's the best I can do to describe it. Just nothing.
I used to have lucid dreams all the time. I did a bunch of research on them and discovered you can pretty easily induce them. It is a little bit of conscious work and effort, though. I used to have several lucid dreams a week. I rarely have them anymore. I stopped doing the work. I would like to start having them again. I would like to have them and experience that feeling of not having to tic. In a lucid dream, you can control the dream when you get good at it. I used to be pretty good at it after some practice.
That feeling, in my dream the other night, was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. Isn't that something? The feeling only lasted less than a minute. It's what most people know as waking life consciousnesses. Their everyday, miserable lives. I just want it for one more minute. What it would be if that magic, dream-scotch elixir was not pretend.