Digging to China

I'm sitting here trying to watch a video on my computer. And the whole time I am obsessively plucking my chest hairs out with tweezers. And some of them I can't get to. And it is driving me nuts. I get so angry. So frustrated.
These are compulsions that need to be dealt with and I can't do it. I put the tweezers down and angrily started typing this. Ok. I am calmer, now.
I have memories of being very young and lying in my parents' bed. I used to try and pluck my father's few grey chest hairs out. Obviously as soon as I did it he would get very angry, yell at me, etc... And I would have to stare at them, begging to be plucked but there was nothing I could do about it. So, eventually, I would go back for more. When he calmed down and forgot about it I would pluck again. It's a good thing for him, he is all grey, now. No need to clean up the strays.
I did this with people's hair, too. If I saw one stray hair sticking up, I had to pluck it. I did it to my brothers. I did it to students sitting in front of me in class. Ya know what? Come to think of it, I still do that to my girlfriend sometimes. She gets livid when I do. Ha. She probably just thinks I'm weird. And this is true.
Sometimes I work at plucking a hair out of my arm or chest for so long that I dig and dig until it is bleeding. I used to use my teeth in class in high school. I remember my best friend, after class asked me why I was eating my arm.
But I get them out eventually. And then I am ok until I see they grew back. The little bastards. Always growing back. Maybe one day I will lose interest.
I used to bite my nails obsessively. I don't do that anymore at all. And I stopped cracking my knuckles. The truth is I haven't stopped a damn thing. I just replace one tic with another.
I stopped biting my nails because it didn't make my fingers look so hot. I stopped cracking my knuckles, neck, back, etc because it can't be good for me. Ya know, shaking my head and slapping myself can't be good for me either. Bound to cause some injury. Why the fuck can't I stop that? Can't I replace those tics with something else?
I will. New tics come, old tics go. And the veteran tics either stick around forever or just make cameo appearances every once in a while.
OK. I've got plucking to do.