I want to take a vacation from my tics. Just for a week. I just want to see what it is like. Sometimes I try to remember what life was like before I started ticcing. I do not know how old I was when I started ticcing. I think I was around 8. But I am not sure. It may have been much earlier. I feel like a blind man trying to remember what his childhood was like before he lost his sight. A week off is all I ask for. It's hard work, ticcing all day long. I wonder how long I go on average between tics. How much of my living existence is not taking place during a tic?
I like it when I first wake up in the morning. There is a nice, lengthy few moments where everything is just calm. I am emerging back into the world. No tics. Nice and sleepy. And then I feel one coming. But I can hold it off for a moment or two. The power of sleep is still lingering. And then it's back to reality. TicTicTic.
Sometimes I have this fantasy. I get to go back to when I was 5 yrs old, retaining all the knowledge and memory I have now but with no TS. I get to start over, knowing what it was like to do it the first time with TS. And I am Tic free. I get to go through my childhood with no tics. And life would be so different. I would be able to go through life without the burden of the enormous struggle growing up with TS caused me. It would be so much easier. A breeze. Aaaaah. That would be nice.
3 comments:
I often feel exactly the same, then i try and look at it a different way, i think of all the things i have done cos of TS and all the people i have met because of it, it dosent make it better but its a small help
I can't imagine a life without ticking. I don't know if I would take one if given the opportunity. It's odd but I once hated my tourettes with a passion, now it seems as if it in a way defines part of who I am. It is more than just a part of me, I mean it's how I am made and wired. I don't think I would be capable of doing the things I have done without it. I have a theory that it works with more in my brain than I may realize, I blame my crazy imagination on it, and think alot of my talent came from it.
this would be so amazing. expecially this week. its my mid term week in college, and that means lots of quitetest writting periods and presentations. it is shitty doing a presentation when u feel the need for a tic run. first goes the neck then the nose then the mouth, then the throat. oh oh and when ur writting a test and its all quite and i randomly breath in really fast, priceless
Post a Comment