Palilalia

I am an impressionist. I do impersonations. Not by trade, of course, but I do them. I do impressions of famous people. Some are very good. Some are ok. I can do an impression of anyone I spend any lengthy amount of time with. I do most of the people I work with. I have had this talent as far back as I can remember.
When I was a kid I did impressions of everyone on tv. I did my parents, my brothers, teachers, friends. It didn't start out as me doing an impression. It started with me repeating everything I heard. I repeated everything. I still do. Most of the time I repeat things in my head. Over and over and over and over. But they make it to my lips and out into the world, as well. So, try watching a movie with me that I have seen before. Not fun.
I have a ridiculous memory. I memorize dialogue verbatim after one viewing. And I not only say the lines with the actors but I say them exactly the way they were said. And if it's a movie I have not seen before I will repeat the lines that the demon feels I should repeat.
Echolalia. That is the simple way to explain it. But it goes deeper than that stupid word. The way I perceive the world is not the same as most. I can't just hear what people say to me or what I say to them. Certain phrases get worked over and over in my brain. They deform and evolve and become new phrases. Then I repeat those. Sometimes for years. I don't think I was born with an amazing memory. I think it's the TS and my perception that created this formula for retaining information.
When I was in high school, I used to memorize entire films. I don't mean I memorized them the way people think they do when they have seen a movie a few times and know a lot of the lines. I mean I know every single grunt, sound, sigh, sound effect, face scratch, eye movement, everything!
I never took notes in school. All I had to do was pay attention in class and I could ace any test. This carried over into college but not to the same degree. In one class in college I would doodle while the teacher lectured and refer back to my doodles and remember exactly what was discussed. I can recall spelling tests in first grade. Remember spelling tests? I never studied for a spelling test in my life. I always scored 100%. I didn't understand how people didn't know how to spell a word after they saw the correct spelling once.
I equate all of this with Tourette's. I am not a genius. I do not have a photographic memory. It's the way I take in the world. It was the way I learned to soak up the world as a child. I was and am a mimic.
I repeat things I hear. In my head, mostly. This is why I am an impressionist. I have become so good at hearing things correctly and repeating them that I have developed a skill. But this skill is a curse. I don't want to hear all the depth in the way someone says something. I want to hear it and move on. But I cannot. I must repeat it in my mind a million times until something in me tells me I can stop.
I pick up the slightest inflection changes in someone's voice or the slightest over used movement in their mannerisms. I see these things without trying to. Once I have that figured out on you. I can imitate you.
When I was a kid I was not allowed to imitate my brothers. I remember it being a common sound to hear my parents yelling at me to
"stop imitating!"
When people tell me I have a talent, I thank them. But I, deep down, don't believe I have a talent. I am cheating. I have a disorder. It is not talent. It is a side effect.